Trailer living...

Most people would say that living in a trailer is shit.
Most would be right except for one major factor: they don't realise the location of said “mobile domicile” can be a major factor
For instance; the place I grew up in was a trailer park in the middle of the country.
Literally,a huge circle cut out in the middle of an undeveloped forest. You could run as wild as raped apes on acid and no one would EVER know!
A bunch of us guy (ok...kids :->) decided we were going to camp out one night on a creek bank about a half mile from the house. Like I said,this was in the middle of NO WHERE, so no other people for ages!
We had to walk around the back of a huge cornfield to get an opening that lead down the backside of a hill to get to the creek.
Once we got there,we set up camp in an area right next to the creek itself. The banks were about 5 feet high above the water,so it was safe to sleep near....... for some.
We decided to build a fire(as ya do!) and I remembered finding a big fallen tree branch that I picked up and swung into a tree to break in half and use for firewood. When it broke, it kind of shattered, but the amazing thing was; the inner portions of the branch were glowing in the dark!
I thought it I had made some kind of new discovery! Glow in the dark wood! How cool?!
(Then I found out later when I moved north to Ohio,where they have “proper” schools and education systems, that some "Mr. Wizard" prick ruined my fantasy by giving it a scientific explanation and shot my dream all to hell....Yankee bastard)
Once it got dark;we decided it would be fun to wrestle(or “rassle” as we to say in the south)
at a rather high,non-intellectual, rate of combined violence and speed, in the pitch black of the night, in a heavily wooded area right next to a 5 foot high creek bank. After a few NFL tackles into that silhouette you thought was Jerry lee, but actually turning out to be a very alive and well TREE, you don't seem to play as long. Or running at someone who moves at the last minute and you sail off the 5 foot high bank and head straight into the 5 ft high bank on the opposite side (15 ft away) of the creek and end up doing a terminal velocity face-plant into the 5ft mud bank on the opposite side.....about 18inches down.
Great times.
When all that juvenile restlessness became tiresome; we sat down around the fire, which was rearranged because we kept throwing each other into it, and all voted unanimously to fire up a bit of the blessed anointed vegetation from the good lord himself......pot.
Once we were all higher than bat shit,we decided it was time for the inevitable munchie run.
The closest was the Jiffy mart,which was opened 24 hrs,thank the dear fluffy lord.
3+ miles of pitch black country road for an RC cola and a banana flip.
One nice thing; the stars are always amazing in the north Carolina summer skies.
The night time was cooler,but still muggy as hell. You felt like a lizard.
It was a fairly uneventful walk to the Jiffy mart mainly due to the fact we were stoned as fuck and time itself just walked the fuck off. Hey..it was some goooood shit back then!
Once we got to the Jiffy mart, we walked in,about 7 of us, and we headed straight to the chips,chocolate and liquids!
It was like a shark feeding frenzy on acid! A couple of us paid for empty packages.
The guy running the register was the 1970's cliche “stud”. Blond hair,parted down the middle and feathered back. Tight t-shirt with the classical “Keep on truckin'” logo. The Kiss belt buckle the size of a fucking hub-cap. And the tight bell bottom blue jeans.
But he was cool. He let us hang out and play pin-ball and check out all the dirty mags behind the counter. He was our new best friend.
Then; the inevitable happened: after all the banana flips, RC cola and chocolate milk.... The sugar rush.
We all walked out immediately, at the same time, like radio controlled drones. Once we hit the cold air; we went crazy screaming and acting mad-ass crazy like full moon hooligans gone insane! It got even better when we went back towards home and left the lights of the Jiffy mart and faded back into the dark of the country roads we called home.
To break the boredom, we found a car tire laying in a ditch and decided to play “tire-tag”!
The rules were simple: If you hit someone with the tire,they are “it” until they hit someone else with the tire, so on and so forth. Rules for hitting people: NONE.
When Leroy swung this tire around in circles to build up momentum and got going pretty damn fast, he let it go at his own brother, Tony...who was turned completely the opposite way.
That tire hit Tony flat horizontal, right square in the middle of the spine. It bent his ass in two like a Chinese acrobat! The back of his head slammed into his own ass cheeks in the middle of the tire!
The sound that came from him was a sound that will never be repeated by a living creature(but it was funny as hell!),ever again. We left him in the ditch and kept playing all the way home.
When we finally got back to the creek; we realised we had left someone there the entire time.
We had completely forgot this person(whatever his name was) and left him asleep on the ground using a tree root for a pillow. He managed to wake up for a bit after we got back and had a major surprise....half of his face was swollen to a massive degree! It looked like something from a Hammer Horror Film! We looked at him. We were shocked as fucked! We lost interest.
So did he. He went back to sleep like nothing ever happened. When he woke up later; he was normal.
Once we decided it was time to leave; we took the long way round in hopes of finding some kind of animal to try and capture.
We got lucky, we came across a 4ft black snake! Most people run from a snake in the wilderness; we would beat the pure snot out of each other to see who would be the one to capture it!
Leroy was usually the winner. He was fast and lanky. Kinda like an anorexic gazelle on coke.
When we came out of the tree line,right behind Mike & Patrick's trailer, I saw my ride coming.
It was Cheryl and her boyfriend. She was “in charge” of me for the night while mom went out for a while. Cheryl's Boyfriend drove a black,1970 charger. It was nice.
They pulled up and I just ran and dove in the back window and landed in the back seat then scrambled up to the front to steal a cigarette from Cheryl.
Cheryl was great. Medium height, red hair,nice body,cute toes(she never wore shoes hardly), boobs to kill for! And just great people all the way around. My mom once said she thought I was getting an education from Cheryl..... she was more than right!
We had to go pick up another friend,who we will call ....Dicksfer...and his girlfriend(we'll get a name for her later).
Dicksfer lived in a big house at the far end of a huge corn field.
When we got there, he was waiting with his girlfriend for us to arrive. As soon as we got there, everyone started drinking and getting primed for the night.
The sun had gone down by this point,but there was still plenty of light from sky. The air was a cool summer night,but the humidity was low this time. It was a really nice,proper southern evening.
With Deep Purple on the radio in the Charger and some new band called RUSH...(getting an idea of the time period?!) and Three Dog Night on the 8-track!
Dicksfers girlfriend was nice! She had long,jet black hair,big brown(almost black) doe-eyes with a slight oriental touch,slightly chubby cheeks,a cut-off midriff t-shirt (a cleavage most worthy of said shirt), hip-hugger bell bottom jeans and the first woman I ever saw wear a toe-ring! She had the cutest feet peeking out from under those bell bottoms. God I miss my southern women....
We stopped off at a gas station to pick up more munchies and road beers and general supplies for the rest of the evening. I, of course, found the only pool table in the area and had to put my quarter up! After not being beat for sometime; Dickfer's girlfriend whispered in my ear very seductively and asked me if I would let her win. I had no choice. My dick was so instantly fucking rock hard, I couldn't stand up from the chair! Which meant I had to forfeit and we had to leave to continue with the rest of the evening.
From there, we went down this long country dirt road which ran down one side of a cornfield(lots of corn in these here parts!) and forest on the other side. It went on for miles.
Cheryl's boyfriend decided to randomly pick a spot and stop.
We got out and everyone decided to start drinking as soon as toe hit dirt. I never did care for beer much, but I was OK with some grape flavoured MD 20/20 or Boones Farm Strawberry wine!
Everyone was doing typical drunk teenage stuff for entertainment; telling bad jokes,wrestling for the sake of the women,trying to out-macho each other while the women giggled at the sad but sweet display of teenage male affection based mating rituals.
It must have worked.
Cheryl and her boyfriend ended up laying in the sand in front of the car and Dicksfer and his girlfriend was at the back. The night was dark, yet, star-filled once again and the sand of the road was nice and kool to lay on. When you see all the stars the good lord put in a southern sky; you'll be convinced he's a confederate!
And me.....
I laid on the roof of the car watching shooting stars in that night sky while listening to “Sara Smile” by Hall & Oates on the car radio.(as well as getting an “education”!)
When the love quartet was finished,we had to return all humans to their rightful owners(parents).
I actually got to sit in the back seat with my head in the lap of Dicksfer's girlfriend, that was a big deal for me! We had all the windows rolled down and the warm summer breeze blowing through the car was magical. She was stroking my hair while it was blowing in the breeze and I remember looking up at her while that straight, long, jet black hair was flying wildly in the wind from the car windows and thinking that she was the most beautiful thing in the world when she would just look down and gently smile and run her fingers through my hair.
When it came time for her to leave, I remember watching her walk away while looking at all that lovely hair hanging down her back leading to the very top of those hip-hugger jeans with an ass so nice... not "tight", but so plump and firm, I bet you could bounce a quarter off of it and get change back. I wasn't sad about her going away, I was happy about the fact that none of my friends would ever believe it! She was gorgeous.
Anyway; back in the car.
A few miles down the road,we start to notice the car was a little smokey....on the inside.
The smoke was coming from the dashboard and vents. Then we heard the most uncool noise.. We pulled the car over, popped the hood and had a look. A the rod that had just blown through the head. The engine was fucked.
After another cigarette or 2 and another beer or 9; we decided the only option we had was to start hitch-hiking.(cell phones were not even a thought yet)
We decided to break into pairs and try and get a ride that way. With less people and we figured a girl with a young kid should get picked up first. So, Cheryl and I walked about 100-150yards ahead of her boyfriend and dicksfer. It was also agreed up that if dicksfer and Cheryl's boyfriend got a ride first, they would send the car to us and then they would catch the next ride.
Well, they lied. The first car that stopped, stopped for them and they fucked off.
Or so we thought.
The next car was 2 marines heading to camp Lejeune.
Semperfuckinfi!
They picked us up and we stopped a little shack in the middle of nothingness called The Party Store. It had no real business license and no one really knew what the little building was for originally, but some people decided to make it into a "party store" where you could go and party and buy your party supplies. Great little place.....
When we got there, we asked had anyone seen dicksfer pass through.
No one had,but we got free gear for our search! God I miss those days...
Eventually; we got back to j'ville and we had to part ways with the marines who so graciously helped up out. Luckily, they dropped us right at the door of Cheryl's “other boyfriend”.(Cheryl was allowed, so watch your tongue!) and he had a car and could take us the rest of the way home.
We walked up to the door of the trailer and Cheryl,being this guys girlfriend, just walked right in.
And Tracy walked right out of the bathroom into the living room.
(Tracy=Cheryl's mortal enemy).
Now we proceed into the cat-fight portion of the evening.
Cheryl was NOT happy and; unfortunately for Tracy, could kick your ass while wear 7 inch cork soled platform shoes!
But I actually liked Tracy.
She was my 1st...... Gee, I wish I could find her now and show her how good I have gotten!
Once the fight reached the boring stage, they decided it was time to call it a night and take us all home.
Cheryl and her “bf” rode in one car while Tracy, her date and myself rode in another.
When we got my house; it was 2:15am. It was almost 3am by the time Cheryl stopped shouting and kicking the shit out of her “other” bf.
Cheryl and I walked into my house and immediately knew something was wrong. We knew someone was, or had been, in the house.
I grabbed a K-Bar knife, she grabbed a butcher knife and a Boss Pepsi bottle(the original 2 litre bottle bade of glass). We searched the house,but no one was there. Then we heard the door...
We charged in and almost killed my best friend to death! He had come to stay the night,but we weren't home, so he went down the road to see friends.
Tony and I decided to make 2 massive bowls of pistachio pudding.
At 3:30am.
Tony asked me where I had been........
I debated if should tell him.
After all; it was an interesting 24 hours for a kid who was juuust about 13 :)